1. You spend all winter on the beer speculating on who will be brought in to manage the junior hurling team nextyear
2. The hardest tackle you will make all year is in an indoor soccermatch in January
3. When you break your borther-in-law's leg
4. There are 35 at training under lights on a bitter February night(unfit but enthusiastic) - the average for Augsut is 7 (unfit, sick oftraining and making silage)
6. When you go for a pick-up, you tap the ball at least twice on thehurley before you fumble it
7. Ground hurling is for juveniles and camogie players
8. The full forward has his son and grand nephew in the corners
9. The grand nephew is two years older
10. For a 2.30 throw-in, you start packing your gearbag at 2.40 andstill manage to be on the field before the refereeeven arrives
11. You can get a match called off because your star player is playingdivisional under-16 the following week
13. Your goalie lets in a sitter every second game - this usuallyhappens after you have scored 5 points from play toreel in adifficult half-time deficit
14. Or in the first minute if it is a final
15. Your full-forward can't score but "he's a good man to bust up theplay"
16. Your centre-forward can't score either but "he'll stop a good manfrom hurling"
17. Your championship is either a round robin that requires you toplay six league games to eliminate one team, or a
knockout starting inOctober
18. Any members of your panel that claim to have back injuries areeither lazy or completely daft - unless you can
see blood, bruises orbandages, they are making it up
21. You can't field a team during the fortnight of the Leaving Cert
22. Your star player always has one other brother "that was evenbetter but he couldn't stay off the drink"
23. Your left-corner-back plays at No.4 because he can only strike offhis left side
24. Ditto No.7
25. The more people instruct you to "let fly if you don't get it upthe first time", the more you ignore them.